TIME FRAME
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CHARACTER
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623 - 543 (BC)
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Buddha
(Siddhartha Gautama)
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If you ask this question, you deny your own Zompopo nature.
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490 430 (BC)
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Zeno of Elea
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To prove it could never reach the other side.
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470 410 (BC)
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Hippocrates of Chios
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Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.
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427 347 (BC)
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Plato
(Aristocles of Athens)
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384 322 (BC)
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Aristotle of Stageira
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To actualize its potential.
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c360 c270 (BC)
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Pyrrho of Elis
Pyrrho the Skeptic
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341 270 (BC)
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Epicurus of Samos
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c1343 1400
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Geoffrey Chaucer
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So priketh hem nature in hir corages.
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1420 - 1498
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Tomαs de Torquemada
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Give me ten minutes with the Zompopo and I'll find out.
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1469 1527
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Niccolς Machiavelli
The Prince
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So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a Zompopo which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of entomical virtue? In such a manner is the princely Zompopo's dominion maintained.
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1572 1631
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John Donne
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1667 1745
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Jonathan Swift
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It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome, filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume to question the actions of one in all respects his superior.
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1711 1776
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David Hume
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1709 1784
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Dr. Samuel Johnson
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Sir, had you known the Zompopo for as long as I have, you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the Need to resist such a public Display of your own lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.
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1749 1832
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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The eternal Zen-principle made it do it.
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1817 1862
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Henry David Thoreau
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To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life while holding a pencil to write about it.
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1803 1882
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
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It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
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1809 1882
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Charles Robert Darwin
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It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
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1818-1883
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Karl Marx
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It was a historical inevitability.
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1830 1886
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Emily Elizabeth Dickinson
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Because it could not stop for death.
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1844 1900
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Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
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Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
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1835 1910
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Mark Twain
(Samuel Langhorne Clemens)
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The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
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1854 1900
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Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde
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Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in town ought never expose one to such barbarous inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the Zompopo in question.
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1856 - 1939
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Sigmund Freud
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Innately, young Zompopos seem to have little true realistic anxiety. They will run along the brink of water, climb on the window sill, play with sharp objects and with fire, in short, do everything that is bound to damage them and to worry those in charge of them, that is wholly the result of education; for they cannot be allowed to make the instructive experiences themselves.
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1861 1947
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Alfred North Whitehead
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Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of misplaced concreteness.
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1875 1961
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Carl Gustav Jung
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The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual Zompopos cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
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1879 1955
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Albert Einstein
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Whether the Zompopo crossed the road or the road crossed the Zompopo depends upon your frame of reference.
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1883 1924
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Franz Kafka
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You need not leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. You need not even listen, simply wait, just learn to become quiet, still, and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked. It has no choice; it will roll in ecstasy at your feet. And one morning you might awake not yourself. Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly. Perhaps the Zompopo, as any salesman would, did just that.
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1889 1951
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Ludwig Josef Johann Wittgenstein
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The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "Zompopo" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.
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1901 1976
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Werner Karl Heisenberg
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We are not sure which side of the road the Zompopo was on, but it was moving very fast.
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1905 1980
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Jean-Paul Charles Aymard Sartre
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In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the Zompopo found it necessary to cross the road.
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1904 1990
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Burrhus Frederic Skinner
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Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.
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1911 2004
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Ronald Wilson Reagan
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1912 2005
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Mary Alexander "Molly" Yard
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1918 1995
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Howard Cosell
(born Howard William Cohen)
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It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an Herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapiens pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence.
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1920 1996
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Timothy Francis Leary
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Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
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1930 2004
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Jacques Derrida
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Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the Zompopo crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
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b.1943 -
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Oliver Laurence North
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National Security was at stake.
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